Family Story.
Passed down over generations that every researcher is adamant is 100% true and correct and yet one sentence whispered into the ear of the person beside you and so on, in a room of 10 people NEVER comes out the same as it went in.
Family Stories change over time and that is all there is to it.
Family members omit the parts they do not like and exaggerate the parts they do like.
In one generation 'pop' bought a block of land, the next a big block of land the next 'pop' owned half of town.
I have seen stories where people are adamant their ancestors were from Royalty in Scotland and even place newspaper notices over many generations repeating the same claims.
Then we find those ancestors arriving as "Assisted Immigrants" with occupations such as: farm servant, house servant or groom.
All too common.
Family Stories generally have a 'base' of truth somewhere but finding that 'base' cannot be accomplished by following the family story with your eyes closed to all the events taking place in and around that family.
Being able to recognise and admit to the misconceptions in your family story is the only way to be able to restore it to it's original tale and pass it on for future generations.
Not only is this the right thing to do but it honours our ancestors.
It shows we care about how we got here and respect them for what they accomplished, what they went through and what they amounted to in their lives.
Some stories were made to cover up shameful goings on.
I doubt the person making up the story ever dreamed it would be passed down generation to generation and deemed in 100 years time to be True and Factual events.
It was just a simple 'porky pie' made up (on the spur of the moment) when asked about an event and then forgotten about.
Once such case:
A man from the US contacted us years ago seeking information on his grandfathers Australian family history. His Family Story was "granddad was about 5yo when his father died and his mother remarried a man who turned out to be an abusive drunk. After years of drunken abuse and watching his mother being bashed, at age 12yo he lost all control and hit his step-father in the head with an axe, killing him. Scared of arrest he hid on board a ship (as a stowaway) heading to America, where he changed his surname on arrival to prevent being found"
Research into this line found almost nothing to be true.
The mother was unmarried when she had a number of children all registered with father UNKNOWN.
The mother did marry (when granddad was about 5yo) but there are no police records or anything to suggest there was any abuse. No records of drunkenness or arrests.
No records for the step-fathers death or of his murder.
There are records to show the mother began having an affair soon after marriage and the husband was suing for divorce on grounds of desertion and adultery.
There are records showing granddad (and siblings) were being neglected, by the mother, not attending school and being arrested for minor offenses.
There is also a shipping record for granddad at age 18, as a crew member working his passage to the US.
WHY would granddad impart such a lavish story on his children?
WAS it to hide his illegitimacy and protect his mother who was bearing a number of illegitimate children to (apparently) a number of different men?
WAS it to "make it someone else's fault" namely the step-dad?
WAS it to add heroism and adventure to a shameful beginning?
Who knows?
Although I doubt it was one long story related in one sitting.
I'd say it was a bit here and a bit there when questions were asked and granddad probably thought that was the end of it and it wouldn't go any further.
I seriously doubt he thought everyone would be gossiping about it in private and connecting their bits from here and there and forming a whole story. Like a jigsaw puzzle.
I wonder if granddad would have continued with the same story if he knew the impact it would have on his grandchildren, who in adulthood, would explore his ancestry and want to check how his poor abused mother and siblings made it through life.
If they finally managed to have a good life and die happy.
If the authorities were ever seeking granddad for murder and if there was anyway of finding the ship he 'stowed away' on.
ONLY to find it was all lies!
NO DOUBT some parts of granddads story were embellished by his family to make a better story.
What granddad originally told his children and what they passed down many years later would have been two different versions. Similar but with a few extra fairy stars and smiley faces.
Family Stories are the Chinese Whispers of Genealogy.
No story ever comes out the way it went in.
Saturday, 22 August 2015
EVEN GRANDPARENTS LIED
Over the last fifteen years or so of doing Genealogy this would be the one most common error (be it assumption) that people make when doing their family history research.
"Grandma said" or "Grandpa said"
Believe it or not people, grandparents lied too.
Just like everyone else on this Earth, when it came to hiding dirty family secrets or scandals, grandparents lied too.
Grandparents were never immune to the gossip, ridicule or shame being splashed around fervently during their era in regards to illegitimate children, marital affairs, secret adoptions, spousal abuse, child abuse, arrests/convictions or anything else that bored women, hung over back fences, prattled on about for hours each day.
Countless times descendants declare their ancestors birth was never registered as it cannot be found on the relevant BDM site, when it takes one simple search using the grand/mother's maiden name to find the birth in question.
Yes, grandmother's and even great grandmother's had sex before they married, often times with someone other than their husband-to-be and produced illegitimate children.
Our grandfather's and great grandfather's did it too.
Where do people think the term "shotgun wedding" came from?
It wasn't because people dressed up cowboy style and everyone brought along a shotgun to the wedding.
Yesteryears young men were really no different from young men of today.
They were still as eager to "sow their wild oats" but it was just kept quieter.
It was whispers between themselves and their mates about 'who was easy' and 'who they'd tried' and what that girl was willing to do.
No different from today, except now they don't whisper as the days of the 'shotgun wedding' began disappearing with the war eras.
If you check illegitimate births during the war era you would be astounded.
So many young heroes, off to fight for Our Country and just wanting to 'make love' ONCE before they leave, just in case they never make it back and so many young girls feeling mighty proud this young hero chose them.
Not to mention if you check the war records.
I see so many Service Records where men (single or married) are admitted to hospital for STD's as many times if not more than for wounds.
The rate of illegitimate pregnancies overseas began to grow.
Our men, while overseas were really whooting it up while on "Leave".
They were leaving behind pregnant women, without support and they never batted an eyelid.
Do people really expect granddad to sit everyone down and be totally honest about his life?
Do they expect grandma to explain how many times she had sex before marrying granddad and mention any pregnancies/children she may have had?
Time again, I get requests to find a death of someone who must have died around a certain date as that was the last time anyone can remember them and my research finds them listed in Police Records as deserting their family without support and further research finds them beginning a new family in another town or state.
Usually when this happens a quick check back to the marriage shows it may have been a shotgun wedding so chances are that one or both of the participants were not in love, but forced to marry to hide the shame.
Some people are fine with this and even get excited as now they have a broader family to research and new family members they previously did not know existed.
Others get disgusted and abusive.
I guess the shock of knowing that sweet grandma who baked cookies and knitted jumpers had, in her youth, a habit of sleeping around is too much for some people to come to grips with.
Or that funny silly grandpa who played tricks on all the grandkids, had a few spare kids just around the corner is too hard to understand.
Believe me, if your research comes to a halt, a brickwall, it is generally due to the information you have being incorrect, NOT due to the records not surviving or being lost.
Broaden your search and open your mind to the fact that maybe somewhere, someone told a porky.
If you still have problems finding the record do NOT go to a Professional Researcher right away, no matter how highly recommended they are.
For some reason the general public assume Professional Researchers are ALL honest, upfront, hard working and trying to "get you results", when the bottom line is many are no more honest than any other business person who is only in it for the mighty dollar.
The examples I always use for this are:
"If you go to a mechanic and can 'speak mechanic' you'll get your car fixed for the lowest/correct amount as the mechanic knows you will catch on if they try to rip you off"
"If you go to the mechanic and have no idea and it is apparent you have no idea then chances are you will be billed for everything from a cracked bra strap to torn rotator cuff."
Every single case I have taken on where the client states "I have already paid a Professional Researcher and there are no records" I have cracked within twenty minutes.
Yup, read that line again, twenty minutes is usually what it takes to find the correct records, which someone has already paid a Professional Researcher between $700 - $1,200 to research and found a NIL result, with various reasons from said Professional Researcher, the most common being: they didn't keep records in that period due to the war, all those records were lost in a fire, those records have been missing for a hundred years.
Do you really think the Professional Researcher even looked? No!
You had the $$$ to pay and could not 'speak researcher' so they charged you for a cracked bra strap and torn rotator cuff.
Always post on free message boards first.
There are heaps of them out there now and even if the helpers cannot access the 'exact' record you are looking for, they will certainly be able to find enough for you, so that if you do require the services of a Professional Researcher you'll be armed with enough information and knowledge to be able to 'speak researcher' long enough to save being ripped off.
Lastly, remember, everyone told porky pies.
I have never researched a family line without uncovering 'skeletons'.
Each and every family line has it's own set of skeletons hiding somewhere and the key to unlocking them is to remember EVEN GRANDPARENTS LIED.
"Grandma said" or "Grandpa said"
Believe it or not people, grandparents lied too.
Just like everyone else on this Earth, when it came to hiding dirty family secrets or scandals, grandparents lied too.
Grandparents were never immune to the gossip, ridicule or shame being splashed around fervently during their era in regards to illegitimate children, marital affairs, secret adoptions, spousal abuse, child abuse, arrests/convictions or anything else that bored women, hung over back fences, prattled on about for hours each day.
Countless times descendants declare their ancestors birth was never registered as it cannot be found on the relevant BDM site, when it takes one simple search using the grand/mother's maiden name to find the birth in question.
Yes, grandmother's and even great grandmother's had sex before they married, often times with someone other than their husband-to-be and produced illegitimate children.
Our grandfather's and great grandfather's did it too.
Where do people think the term "shotgun wedding" came from?
It wasn't because people dressed up cowboy style and everyone brought along a shotgun to the wedding.
Yesteryears young men were really no different from young men of today.
They were still as eager to "sow their wild oats" but it was just kept quieter.
It was whispers between themselves and their mates about 'who was easy' and 'who they'd tried' and what that girl was willing to do.
No different from today, except now they don't whisper as the days of the 'shotgun wedding' began disappearing with the war eras.
If you check illegitimate births during the war era you would be astounded.
So many young heroes, off to fight for Our Country and just wanting to 'make love' ONCE before they leave, just in case they never make it back and so many young girls feeling mighty proud this young hero chose them.
Not to mention if you check the war records.
I see so many Service Records where men (single or married) are admitted to hospital for STD's as many times if not more than for wounds.
The rate of illegitimate pregnancies overseas began to grow.
Our men, while overseas were really whooting it up while on "Leave".
They were leaving behind pregnant women, without support and they never batted an eyelid.
Do people really expect granddad to sit everyone down and be totally honest about his life?
Do they expect grandma to explain how many times she had sex before marrying granddad and mention any pregnancies/children she may have had?
Time again, I get requests to find a death of someone who must have died around a certain date as that was the last time anyone can remember them and my research finds them listed in Police Records as deserting their family without support and further research finds them beginning a new family in another town or state.
Usually when this happens a quick check back to the marriage shows it may have been a shotgun wedding so chances are that one or both of the participants were not in love, but forced to marry to hide the shame.
Some people are fine with this and even get excited as now they have a broader family to research and new family members they previously did not know existed.
Others get disgusted and abusive.
I guess the shock of knowing that sweet grandma who baked cookies and knitted jumpers had, in her youth, a habit of sleeping around is too much for some people to come to grips with.
Or that funny silly grandpa who played tricks on all the grandkids, had a few spare kids just around the corner is too hard to understand.
Believe me, if your research comes to a halt, a brickwall, it is generally due to the information you have being incorrect, NOT due to the records not surviving or being lost.
Broaden your search and open your mind to the fact that maybe somewhere, someone told a porky.
If you still have problems finding the record do NOT go to a Professional Researcher right away, no matter how highly recommended they are.
For some reason the general public assume Professional Researchers are ALL honest, upfront, hard working and trying to "get you results", when the bottom line is many are no more honest than any other business person who is only in it for the mighty dollar.
The examples I always use for this are:
"If you go to a mechanic and can 'speak mechanic' you'll get your car fixed for the lowest/correct amount as the mechanic knows you will catch on if they try to rip you off"
"If you go to the mechanic and have no idea and it is apparent you have no idea then chances are you will be billed for everything from a cracked bra strap to torn rotator cuff."
Every single case I have taken on where the client states "I have already paid a Professional Researcher and there are no records" I have cracked within twenty minutes.
Yup, read that line again, twenty minutes is usually what it takes to find the correct records, which someone has already paid a Professional Researcher between $700 - $1,200 to research and found a NIL result, with various reasons from said Professional Researcher, the most common being: they didn't keep records in that period due to the war, all those records were lost in a fire, those records have been missing for a hundred years.
Do you really think the Professional Researcher even looked? No!
You had the $$$ to pay and could not 'speak researcher' so they charged you for a cracked bra strap and torn rotator cuff.
Always post on free message boards first.
There are heaps of them out there now and even if the helpers cannot access the 'exact' record you are looking for, they will certainly be able to find enough for you, so that if you do require the services of a Professional Researcher you'll be armed with enough information and knowledge to be able to 'speak researcher' long enough to save being ripped off.
Lastly, remember, everyone told porky pies.
I have never researched a family line without uncovering 'skeletons'.
Each and every family line has it's own set of skeletons hiding somewhere and the key to unlocking them is to remember EVEN GRANDPARENTS LIED.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)