EVEN GRANDPARENTS LIED

Over the last fifteen years or so of doing Genealogy this would be the one most common error (be it assumption) that people make when doing their family history research.
"Grandma said" or "Grandpa said"
Believe it or not people, grandparents lied too.

Just like everyone else on this Earth, when it came to hiding dirty family secrets or scandals, grandparents lied too.

Grandparents were never immune to the gossip, ridicule or shame being splashed around fervently during their era in regards to illegitimate children, marital affairs, secret adoptions, spousal abuse, child abuse, arrests/convictions or anything else that bored women, hung over back fences, prattled on about for hours each day.

Countless times descendants declare their ancestors birth was never registered as it cannot be found on the relevant BDM site, when it takes one simple search using the grand/mother's maiden name to find the birth in question.
Yes, grandmother's and even great grandmother's had sex before they married, often times with someone other than their husband-to-be and produced illegitimate children.
Our grandfather's and great grandfather's did it too.

Where do people think the term "shotgun wedding" came from?
It wasn't because people dressed up cowboy style and everyone brought along a shotgun to the wedding.

Yesteryears young men were really no different from young men of today.
They were still as eager to "sow their wild oats" but it was just kept quieter.
It was whispers between themselves and their mates about 'who was easy' and 'who they'd tried' and what that girl was willing to do.
No different from today, except now they don't whisper as the days of the 'shotgun wedding' began disappearing with the war eras.

If you check illegitimate births during the war era you would be astounded.

So many young heroes, off to fight for Our Country and just wanting to 'make love' ONCE before they leave, just in case they never make it back and so many young girls feeling mighty proud this young hero chose them.
Not to mention if you check the war records.
I see so many Service Records where men (single or married) are admitted to hospital for STD's as many times if not more than for wounds.
The rate of illegitimate pregnancies overseas began to grow.
Our men, while overseas were really whooting it up while on "Leave".
They were leaving behind pregnant women, without support and they never batted an eyelid.

Do people really expect granddad to sit everyone down and be totally honest about his life?
Do they expect grandma to explain how many times she had sex before marrying granddad and mention any pregnancies/children she may have had?

Time again, I get requests to find a death of someone who must have died around a certain date as that was the last time anyone can remember them and my research finds them listed in Police Records as deserting their family without support and further research finds them beginning a new family in another town or state.
Usually when this happens a quick check back to the marriage shows it may have been a shotgun wedding so chances are that one or both of the participants were not in love, but forced to marry to hide the shame.

Some people are fine with this and even get excited as now they have a broader family to research and new family members they previously did not know existed.
Others get disgusted and abusive.
I guess the shock of knowing that sweet grandma who baked cookies and knitted jumpers had, in her youth, a habit of sleeping around is too much for some people to come to grips with.
Or that funny silly grandpa who played tricks on all the grandkids, had a few spare kids just around the corner is too hard to understand.

Believe me, if your research comes to a halt, a brickwall, it is generally due to the information you have being incorrect, NOT due to the records not surviving or being lost.
Broaden your search and open your mind to the fact that maybe somewhere, someone told a porky.

If you still have problems finding the record do NOT go to a Professional Researcher right away, no matter how highly recommended they are. 
For some reason the general public assume Professional Researchers are ALL honest, upfront, hard working and trying to "get you results", when the bottom line is many are no more honest than any other business person who is only in it for the mighty dollar.

The examples I always use for this are:
"If you go to a mechanic and can 'speak mechanic' you'll get your car fixed for the lowest/correct amount as the mechanic knows you will catch on if they try to rip you off"
"If you go to the mechanic and have no idea and it is apparent you have no idea then chances are you will be billed for everything from a cracked bra strap to torn rotator cuff."

Every single case I have taken on where the client states "I have already paid a Professional Researcher and there are no records" I have cracked within twenty minutes.
Yup, read that line again, twenty minutes is usually what it takes to find the correct records, which someone has already paid a Professional Researcher between $700 - $1,200 to research and found a NIL result, with various reasons from said Professional Researcher, the most common being: they didn't keep records in that period due to the war, all those records were lost in a fire, those records have been missing for a hundred years.

Do you really think the Professional Researcher even looked? No!
You had the $$$ to pay and could not 'speak researcher' so they charged you for a cracked bra strap and torn rotator cuff.

Always post on free message boards first.
There are heaps of them out there now and even if the helpers cannot access the 'exact' record you are looking for, they will certainly be able to find enough for you, so that if you do require the services of a Professional Researcher you'll be armed with enough information and knowledge to be able to 'speak researcher' long enough to save being ripped off.

Lastly, remember, everyone told porky pies.
I have never researched a family line without uncovering 'skeletons'.
Each and every family line has it's own set of skeletons hiding somewhere and the key to unlocking them is to remember EVEN GRANDPARENTS LIED.