The Chinese Whispers of Genealogy

Family Story.
Passed down over generations that every researcher is adamant is 100% true and correct and yet one sentence whispered into the ear of the person beside you and so on, in a room of 10 people NEVER comes out the same as it went in.

Family Stories change over time and that is all there is to it.
Family members omit the parts they do not like and exaggerate the parts they do like.
In one generation 'pop' bought a block of land, the next a big block of land the next 'pop' owned half of town.

I have seen stories where people are adamant their ancestors were from Royalty in Scotland and even place newspaper notices over many generations repeating the same claims.
Then we find those ancestors arriving as "Assisted Immigrants" with occupations such as: farm servant, house servant or groom.
All too common.

Family Stories generally have a 'base' of truth somewhere but finding that 'base' cannot be accomplished by following the family story with your eyes closed to all the events taking place in and around that family.
Being able to recognise and admit to the misconceptions in your family story is the only way to be able to restore it to it's original tale and pass it on for future generations.

Not only is this the right thing to do but it honours our ancestors.
It shows we care about how we got here and respect them for what they accomplished, what they went through and what they amounted to in their lives.

Some stories were made to cover up shameful goings on.
I doubt the person making up the story ever dreamed it would be passed down generation to generation and deemed in 100 years time to be True and Factual events.
It was just a simple 'porky pie' made up (on the spur of the moment) when asked about an event and then forgotten about.

Once such case:
 A man from the US contacted us years ago seeking information on his grandfathers Australian family history. His Family Story was "granddad was about 5yo when his father died and his mother remarried a man who turned out to be an abusive drunk. After years of drunken abuse and watching his mother being bashed, at age 12yo he lost all control and hit his step-father in the head with an axe, killing him. Scared of arrest he hid on board a ship (as a stowaway) heading to America, where he changed his surname on arrival to prevent being found"

Research into this line found almost nothing to be true.
The mother was unmarried when she had a number of children all registered with father UNKNOWN.
The mother did marry (when granddad was about 5yo) but there are no police records or anything to suggest there was any abuse. No records of drunkenness or arrests.
No records for the step-fathers death or of his murder.
There are records to show the mother began having an affair soon after marriage and the husband was suing for divorce on grounds of desertion and adultery.
There are records showing granddad (and siblings) were being neglected, by the mother, not attending school and being arrested for minor offenses.
There is also a shipping record for granddad at age 18, as a crew member working his passage to the US.

WHY would granddad impart such a lavish story on his children?
WAS it to hide his illegitimacy and protect his mother who was bearing a number of illegitimate children to (apparently) a number of different men?
WAS it to "make it someone else's fault" namely the step-dad?
WAS it to add heroism and adventure to a shameful beginning?

Who knows?
Although I doubt it was one long story related in one sitting.
I'd say it was a bit here and a bit there when questions were asked and granddad probably thought that was the end of it and it wouldn't go any further.
I seriously doubt  he thought everyone would be gossiping about it in private and connecting their bits from here and there and forming a whole story. Like a jigsaw puzzle.

I wonder if granddad would have continued with the same story if he knew the impact it would have on his grandchildren, who in adulthood, would explore his ancestry and want to check how his poor abused mother and siblings made it through life.
If they finally managed to have a good life and die happy.
If the authorities were ever seeking granddad for murder and if there was anyway of finding the ship he 'stowed away' on.
ONLY to find it was all lies!
NO DOUBT some parts of granddads story were embellished by his family to make a better story.
What granddad originally told his children and what they passed down many years later would have been two different versions. Similar but with a few extra fairy stars and smiley faces.

Family Stories are the Chinese Whispers of Genealogy.
No story ever comes out the way it went in.